


You got it, babe

by redpenfics



Category: Bon Jovi (Band)
Genre: M/M, My First Fanfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-22
Updated: 2019-07-22
Packaged: 2020-07-11 13:33:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,321
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19928875
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/redpenfics/pseuds/redpenfics
Summary: Jon reminiscing about his old friend.





	You got it, babe

**Author's Note:**

> My first J/R fic ever, written over 2 years ago. All it took was all my notes taken together and a bottle of rose. The plotline is basically Jon's thoughts scattered all over the place. It still holds a special place in my heart because although it's not my best - far from it - it's my first. I wrote it mostly on the bus/tram while commuting to work and out of frustration there are so few J/R fics. You can say I've made some progress since then lol. Also the first person POV, which is quite unusual for me.

He stood there on the doorway smiling faintly. I tried my best to act casual but the truth was, my heart was beating so fast I was sure it was as loud as a damn church bell. It felt like a first date or something because I got dressed five times and was nervous as hell. "Come in," I waved my hand opening the door to let him in. "Thanks," he said passing me by. His cologne smelled familiar and I thought how crazy it all was. He took off his coat and changed shoes while I was watching him. "Hungry?" I asked but he shook his head. "Actually, I've just had dinner." "Wine?" He smiled. "That sounds good." I went to the kitchen and brought a bottle and two glasses. "I'll open it," he offered politely. I nodded, looking for some snacks. He poured the red liquid into the glasses and sat down. I sat opposite him and just looked at him. It felt surreal. "Four fucking years," I heard my own words and gasped because I didn't intend to say them out loud. At least not yet. "Yeah, it took awhile," he nodded with a grimace on his face. "I'm sorry." "Well, let's drink," I said, ignoring this sudden confession. "Yeah, for tonight!", he cheered while our glasses clicked.

***

"Babe, do we still have it?"  
"Yeah, you got it, babe."  
Richie's words echoed in my head while I was looking at the picture of us. I took an old album out trying to to hide it as it was a crime or sin. I talked so much about the integrity of the band and how we moved on but the truth was, I was still aching. There was a huge gap in my heart and it truly felt like a divorce. 'Sexless marriage' we would say but the pain was real. I sighed, seeing his wide smile in the picture. I still loved him. I just realised I never stopped loving him. I was sitting in my hotel room all alone because I told the guys I really wanted to unwind after the concert. We had already started the world tour and it was the first without Richie. No matter how much I denied it, I missed him. I was throwing my arms upon my mates on stage making no big deal and pretending I was completely fine but it was just a pose. Tico and Dave and the rest of the crew naturally found their feet but I was still struggling inside. The bastard was having the time of his life while I was refusing to face the truth. He's supposed to be here on this damn stage like it used to be. He was always there and even when he was away in rehab, I knew he would be back and rock the stage. I was so proud of him whenever he won over his demons, there were so many of them, but we were standing tall. He was my best friend, he always had my back. He would find comfort in the songs I wrote for him. They sounded like love letters but heck, it was love this way or another. Sometimes I wondered if you could love the other person that much but I didn't really show my true colours that easily. Some wine or booze back in the day would usually help them surface a bit and give me some bittersweet memories. Like this one when we got ass drunk and kissed like crazy and then woke up totally hangover with bruised and swollen lips. I don't remember much of that night except him smiling mischieviously when we both experienced massive erection and couldn't hide it. I blushed like a girl and he just laughed. We didn't cross the line because we were too drunk. Acually I was too drunk because Rich always seemed to be better at drinking and I just passed out in the middle of this weird and yet amazing experience. We would occassionally sneak a kiss but it would be rather playful and we were somehow on the wild side. I sometimes wondered what he thought of that but was too afraid to ask. I can only assume he liked it as much as I did. What a weird recollection! We shared so much, spending more time together than away and it was a real brotherhood. A pack of cowboys riding from town to town drinking, messing up and stealing the girls. Boy, next time I would love to live Richie's life. The guy never missed a chance!

***

And now, I am here drinking wine and wanting to call him so badly. I am too drunk to be mad at him, I just want to be like it used to be. I must have taken him for granted bceause it took me off guard when he left. One last calling? We're too old for that shit. Yeah, in the past it was as wild as it could be. Girls, booze and occassional drugs, constant touring and lack of sleep. It was all like a dream. We were extremely physical, getting immersed in our youth and beauty like in the most expensive champagne, getting drunk and high on it all. Hell, it was a real rollercoaster with no belts fastened. We didn't know where it would lead us to but we wanted it so badly. Living on your dreams always feels intoxicating and we were so free it was just overwhelming. People were thirsty for us as much as we were for life. Years passed by and the spirit died. We got focused on other things and the passion wasn't the ultimate drive anymore. We grew cold and indifferent, caught in a web of obligations and deadlines, forgetting to enjoy the moment and being grateful. We took the bull by the horns and acclaimed it ours forever, never predicting we would ever part and go our separate ways. He left and the magic is gone.

***

I had this weird dream about a year after he left. I was having hightmares right away he left us. Black and white dreams while I had to run away, climb up and struggle. Dot says she heard me scream at night but I don't remember that. One dream was crucial, though. I was crying to get some relief, washing myself in the holy water. I woke up shit scared, dumbfounded and completely lost. I knew it was time to face my demons and confront my fears. I wrote a song for Richie. It was a love letter to a man who became a ghost and I had to bid him farewell. I felt better, like I got an enormous boulder off my shoulders but the gap in my heart was never healed. I know he's out there somewhere in his beloved Australia having a blast with his girlfriend half his age. Silly, I know, but at least he feels happy. We talked once after six weeks of dead silence. It took him forever to call me so I was the one who picked up the phone first. He was formal and rather silent, which was weird, but not this time. A few casual words and that was it. We lost if for good. I tried to get busy as hell to stop thinking but the rift with my record company and lost bid added fuel to it. I got so damn indifferent to life I wouldn't care if I died tomorrow. Trying to act tough while falling apart inside. No one is a master of that in the long run. I stopped dying my hair and felt like I was ready to die. And yet again my wife and my family turned out to be my rock. I am again on stage never giving up on hope the magic will return. You got it, babe.


End file.
